Sometimes the most toxic people to us in our lives are the people who we least suspect. That is because these people have the best intentions. Some have kind hearts and they genuinely care about you. That makes them even more difficult to detect and more difficult even to cut out of your life.
Some may not even be toxic people at all. Some are simply people who enable toxicity within you. They provoke a certain thinking pattern, promote a certain addiction.
Examples of toxic people with good intentions.
People with the same addictions that you have:
People who are suffering from addictions tend to seek each other out. Our addictions are prowling the streets for other people who are fueled by the same addiction. Because when we associate with these people, the addiction is justified via friendship. With more people, the addiction becomes stronger. Kind people with good intentions fall into this category. People who truly love and care about you, but are toxic because they enable an addiction that is toxic to you.
People who enable your bad behavior:
Often times the people who love us the most will enable bad behavior patterns out of love. They see a short-term pleasure within you and their intention is to make you happy, but really what they are doing is enabling a behavior pattern that is not healthy and in fact is very bad for you. A wife who accepts blame after her husband yells at her or emotionally abuses her is enabling this awful behavior. A friend who buys beer for their alcoholic buddy is enabling this behavior. The enabler is especially difficult to spot because they appear to be the problem fixer. In the end, it can be a lethal combination.
Overly negative people who have skewed views of the world:
These people often come wrapped in blankets of positivity. They can be fun and easy going. The more time you spend with them, however, the more you realize that they have skewed views. They may try and convince you that you are the negative one because you don’t see their viewpoint. They are close minded and accuse you of being that way. They lay waste to your ideas at every turn, but tell you it’s enlightenment. It’s easy to fall into their trap. They believe they are making you into a better person, their intentions are there, but what they are really doing is stomping you out.
These are just three examples of toxic people that come disguised as well-intentioned people in your life. There are many more. The secret to happiness, in this case, is not allowing other people’s behaviors to be harmful to you or themselves.
If you are aware of the fact that sometimes the most well-intentioned people are also the most harmful to you then it is much easier to proceed with caution. Remember, at the end of the day, you have to live with you. It’s time to start taking care. You are worth it after all.