A Short Guide on Self Preservation.
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.
I’m admittedly really good at staying in bad situations.
I’ve stayed in relationships that didn’t serve me or where I was giving far more than my partner. I’ve stayed in jobs where my interest was passive at best, and I became a clock-watcher. I’ve given to friendships that didn’t lift me or console me when I needed it.
How about you?
Have you ever stayed in a job, relationship or friendship well past it’s sold by date?
It’s amazing what we’ll put ourselves through for the sake of a paycheck or to not be alone. But the only person who is suffering in these situations is you.
Holding on might seem more comfortable, but letting go takes bravery and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.
Here are ten signs it’s time to let go of the situation you’re in whether it’s a friend, lover, or partner.
They Expect You to Be Someone You’re Not
There is never a good reason to stop being you for the sake of pleasing others. It’s normal to bend a bit with someone or a group of people, say, new friends. Generally, by bending ourselves a bit we learn to enjoy something new; this is called growth and compromise.
But you shouldn’t have to bend to meet someone’s needs to the point of developing cracks in your self-identity.
It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are than to keep them by being someone you’re not. Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart than it is to piece together a shattered identity, it’s easier to fill a space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the space inside yourself where you used to be.
Their Actions Don’t Match Their Words
Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.
If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.
It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. True friendship is a promise made in the heart — silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do. Your real friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.
You Find Yourself Hoping Someone Loves You Back
You can’t force another person to love you.
If someone wants to leave your life, let them leave and bless and release them. That’s what love is all about — freedom. Love is sometimes about letting someone go.
However, the end of love is not the end of life. It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.
If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it. Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone extraordinary to stay in your life and prove how much they love you. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.
Your Relationship Is Based on Physical Attraction
Being beautiful is more than how many people look at you or how others perceive you at first glance.
Being truly beautiful is about the person you are and what you stand for.
It’s about what defines you. It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique. It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly. It’s about those little quirks that make you, you.
People who are only attracted to you for what’s on the outside won’t stick around long. But the people who can see how beautiful you are as a whole will never leave you.
Staying with Someone Who Breaks Your Trust
Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you but trusting them not to.
When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll get one of two results — a friend for life or a lesson for life. Either way, there’s a positive outcome.
Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do. In the end, you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s real, and who would risk it all for you.
Someone Who Doesn’t Respect or Value You
First off, if you don’t know your worth, then someone else can’t value it. So first, take time to realize just how valuable you are to everyone in your life.
When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender your self worth to them.
There comes the point when you have to let go and stop chasing people. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there.
Sometimes you need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them. If that’s the case, then you’re better off without them. Let them leave your life quietly. Provide no assistance to their return.
Letting go is often easier than holding on, and your self worth will thank you.
You Are Never Given a Chance to Speak
If you cannot express yourself to others and be heard, then you’re a preacher with an empty church.
Someone who cares for you and loves you will let you share your thoughts. You’re not always going to hit the right buttons, but the important thing is you can communicate openly.
Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it. Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets. Life is not about making others happy. Life is about being honest and sharing yourself with others.
You Sacrifice Your Happiness
If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will eventually be emotionally broke.
Know when to close the account. It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that always requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect.
You Truly Dislike Your Current Situation
It’s better to be a failure at something you love than to succeed at something you hate.
Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.
The best thing you can do in life is to follow your heart. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and secure choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing will happen.
The beauty of life is that you can change your situation whenever you like. Even if the first steps are the hardest, the rewards are endless.
You Find Yourself Living in the Past
All you have control over is this moment. The only way through any situation is forward. Revisiting the past and looking back at your wake only serves to take you away from today. Whatever happened in the past is best left there, and there is nothing you can do about it anyway.
Eventually, you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over time.
After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story. So let go of the past and open your mind to the possibility of new experiences.
Exhale and Inhale
There are two paths to letting go of anything in life; forgiving and releasing.
Contrary to popular belief forgiving is not weakness. Forgiving is the sign of a strong bond with yourself. It means you respect yourself enough to let go. It means having enough depth and awareness to say, “I release you.”
Forgiveness is exhaling.
Releasing is not unloving nor unaware. Releasing is self-preservation and love for the other half of the whole. If you are strong enough to release someone, then you are strong enough to love in the first place. Releasing breathes life back into your soul and highlights your self-awareness.
Releasing is inhaling.